When is it Time to Stop Driving?

Life's journey takes us down many roads, and one of the trickier turns involves helping our parents decide when it's time to put the brakes on driving. For many of us, driving the open road was an early signal of independence, autonomy and freedom. So it's no wonder that many older adults are reluctant to face the issue of driving competency head on. After all, it's about so much more than just transportation; deciding it's no longer safe to driving means giving up a sense of agency and acknowledging that you've entered another stage of life.

We're often asked for information about signs you are too old to drive. And the truth is, actual age is far less important than the risk factors that might exist when someone decides to get behind the steering wheel. So whether you're wondering about whether it's time for you to stop driving, or you have concerns about a parent or loved one's driving, read on to get more information.

As we get older, there are many accommodations we make to the fact of aging. And how we handle ourselves behind the wheel is just one of them. Here are the most common impacts that the aging experience has on older driver safety:

• Physical Limitations: While every person experience aging differently, it's common to experience a change in our physical abilities. Reduced mobility, slower reflexes or even strength can fundamentally change the way we drive, and whether or not we're able to do so safely.
• Cognitive changes: Age-related cognitive changes, like slower information processing and memory decline, may affect a driver's ability to make quick decisions on the road. An elderly person who has difficulty multitasking can also struggle to handle complex traffic situations. While we may take it for granted, driving is an incredibly complex task that requires a high degree of processing power and attention.
• Medication effects: Many older adults manage health conditions with medications, and some of these medications can have side effects such as drowsiness. Some might even contribute to dehydration, causing dizziness - and all of them can potentially impair driving ability.
• Vision impairments: Diminished eyesight is a common concern among older drivers. Issues like decreased night vision, sensitivity to glare, and difficulty with peripheral vision can contribute to challenges while driving.
• Decreased confidence: Older adults may experience a decline in confidence behind the wheel due to fears of getting lost, navigating unfamiliar technology in modern vehicles, or encountering heavy traffic.
• Hearing problems: Hearing loss is prevalent in aging individuals, and this can impact their ability to hear sirens, horns, or other important auditory cues on the road.

No one likes to pump the brakes on driving, but sometimes there are warning signs telling us that we're no longer able to drive safely. From those mysterious car dents to getting lost in your own neighborhood, there are hints can help us figure out when it's time to swap the driver's seat for a different view - and make sure that both you and other drivers are safe on the road.

• Increasing near-misses or accidents: A noticeable uptick in near-miss incidents or actual car accidents can be a red flag. This may indicate difficulties in assessing and responding to on-road situations, suggesting it might be time for older adults to reassess driving ability.
• Unexplained dents or scrapes on the car: Finding unexplained damage on the vehicle, such as dents or scrapes, could signify issues with spatial awareness and coordination. This might suggest a need for a professional opinion about your driving skills and potential restrictions.
• Getting lost frequently: If you or an aging parent is getting frequently lost, even in familiar areas, it could signal challenges with navigation and memory. This may compromise the ability to follow directions, leading to unsafe driving conditions.
• Difficulty reading signs or navigating traffic signals: Struggling to read road signs or navigate through traffic signals are among the warning signs that vision or cognitive abilities are declining, posing a risk to both the driver and others on the road.
• Increased anxiety or fear of driving: Developing heightened anxiety or fear associated with driving may be a psychological indicator that something isn't quite right. Unexpected situations happen all the time when driving, and it's so important that we feel confident behind the steering wheel.
• Inconsistent speed control: Difficulty maintaining a consistent speed, whether it's driving too fast or too slow, may point to challenges in motor skills, reaction time, or judgment, signaling the need for older adults to reassess their driving skills.
• Missed traffic signals or ignored traffic rules: Ignoring traffic signals, missing stop signs, confusing gas and brake pedals or other fundamental traffic rule violations are all warning signs that there are changes in attention, concentration, or comprehension.
• Medication changes: Changes in medication, dosage, or new prescriptions can have varying effects on cognitive and motor functions. It's crucial to monitor how these changes may impact driving abilities and make adjustments accordingly.
• Concerns raised by family or friends: If family or friends express concerns about a person's driving, it's essential to take these observations seriously. External perspectives can provide valuable insights into changes that the individual might not recognize themselves.

When distance separates you from your a family members, assessing their abilities requires a different approach. Start by having open and honest conversations about their driving experiences. Ask them about any challenges or concerns they may have noticed while driving. Engage in discussions with their local friends, neighbors, or even their healthcare provider to gather insights into their recent driving performance. Consider utilizing technology, such as in-car monitoring devices or apps that track driving behavior, if your parent is comfortable with the idea. Regular check-ins, even from a distance, can provide valuable information and help you make informed decisions about their continued safety on the road.

If you have concerns about a loved one's ability to drive safely, it can be really tough to figure out how to broach the subject. So before you start the conversation, take a moment to understand what driving truly means to them. For many elderly drivers, driving goes beyond a mode of transportation - for some it symbolizes independence, while for others it might be part of a daily routine - going to the coffee shop to meet friends, for example. For others it's a means of providing care for loved ones - like going to the grocery store or picking up medications. Recognizing the emotional and practical significance of driving in their lives allows for a more nuanced dialogue.

The most important thing to know is that it's not just about the act of driving; it's about preserving a sense of identity and purpose. By acknowledging and respecting these connections, the conversation can shift towards collaborative solutions that maintain their autonomy while addressing safety concerns.

Finally, remember that this may be a conversation that happens over time. Rarely do we hear of an initial conversation in which both parties agree and the decision to stop driving is made with unanimity. Consider this a dialogue that happens over months and even years. Start early and have the conversation often.

• Express concerns with empathy: Start the conversation by expressing your love and concern for their well-being. Ask for their observations and thoughts. It's important to remember that the decision must be theirs, and that you are but a trusted counsel to help them think things through.
• Choose the right time and place: Find a calm and comfortable setting for the conversation, free from distractions, where both you and your parent can openly discuss the matter without feeling rushed. Consider your family dynamic too; for some it might make more sense to talk one-on-one, while in other families, having siblings or a spouse help out may make things go more smoothly.
• Refer to Specific Observations: Share specific instances or behaviors that have raised concerns about their driving safety - the warning signs you may have noticed over time. This helps to make the conversation concrete and provides clarity.
• Link driving concerns to health: If applicable, connect the conversation to recent health diagnoses or doctor's recommendations. Emphasize the importance of prioritizing their health and safety, but be sure to talk honestly about the potential impact to other drivers on the road.
• Encourage self-assessment: Ask open-ended questions that prompt your parent to reflect on their own driving abilities. Encourage self-awareness by asking how they feel about their experiences on the road and highway safety. Ask them to consider others on the rad as well.
• Offer alternatives: Based on the purpose that driving serves for your loved one, suggest alternative options, such as ridesharing services, taxi service, public transit, or assistance from friends and neighbors. Highlight the convenience and safety aspects of these alternatives.
• Involve a neutral third party: If necessary, involve a neutral third party, such as their healthcare provider or a driving professional, to provide an objective assessment and recommendations.
• Discuss the future plan: Explore the idea of transitioning away from regular driving and discuss how this change might impact their daily life. Collaborate on a plan for maintaining independence through alternative means.
• Revisit the conversation periodically: Recognize that this may be an ongoing discussion. Revisit the topic periodically to assess any changes in their circumstances or attitudes, and adjust plans accordingly.

In situations where a parent adamantly refuses stop driving, and you firmly believe that they pose a risk to themselves or others, it may become necessary to explore legal avenues. Depending on jurisdiction, family members may consider involving relevant authorities, such as the Department of Motor Vehicles or a healthcare professional, to assess the individual's driving capabilities objectively. In extreme cases where immediate safety concerns exist, seeking legal advice to explore options like guardianship or power of attorney may be necessary. While the goal is to prioritize safety and well-being, the legal route should be approached with caution and a thorough understanding of local regulations to ensure a balanced and lawful resolution. It should also come as a last resort, as actions that circumvent an older adult's decision-making and agency do not support a healthy and respectful relationship.

Driving is an enormous responsibility, and it's our job to help our parents and loved ones make the right decisions based on their risk factors. While the conversations aren't always easy, they are a sign of your commitment to supporting them as they age. Ultimately, the road to safer driving decisions is paved with open communication, understanding, and a shared commitment to fostering a secure and fulfilling chapter in the journey of aging.