Downsizing Tips for Seniors

When your elderly loved one decides to make the move to assisted living, it’s a major step that comes with many positive benefits. But what to do about a lifetime of cherished accumulated possessions that no longer fit an elderly loved one’s new living space or lifestyle?

Learning to let go

Even when a transition to assisted living for an elderly loved one is something they welcome, it is important to be respectful about the process. Moving to a retirement community or to an assisted living residence is a life change that ranks high on the life stress scale. If other significant life stressors such as death of a spouse or major illness have also occurred, it can make even the most easy-going person more emotional. Loss of mobility requiring help from caregivers and/or loss of memory necessitating memory care can make an elderly loved one feel anxious. They may feel that they are losing control of so much that they may want to cling more fiercely to possessions they may no longer need.

Your challenge in helping them, according to Seniorly experts, is to be a good steward to their belongings and respectful of the deep emotional meaning items may have for them. At the same time, you need to be practical about the need to downsize their possessions to what will be useful for them in assisted living, so you can empty the family home. This is especially important if the home has to be sold to provide resources for their future care needs.

Decluttering vs. cherishing possessions

Current trends advocate for  decluttering and getting rid of things, the idea being to cherish memories, not things. However, keep in mind this is a modern movement and those of a different era may feel differently about cherished belongings.  For someone downsizing from their home, keeping certain items may be important to the transition. For example, a memory care resident may no longer be able to read their cherished books the way they once did, but the presence of their favorite books in a bookcase in their room may provide reassurance and continuity.  Similarly, an  loved one in a assisted living may enjoy having keepsakes near that help prompt happy memories. You can always get rid of things, but once they are gone ,they are gone forever. So if possible, take it slow and try to determine what is important.

Family photo albums provide another important source of continuity. Although you may want to digitize them to preserve them for posterity, having the photo albums available for your elderly loved one when they move to a retirement community can provide a helpful transitional link. Looking through the photo albums when you visit the assisted living community can give you both a pleasant meaningful activity to do together.

Helpful ways to downsize possessions

No matter how gentle and understanding we are about the sentimental value of many of an elderly loved one’s lifetime of possessions, there is no doubt that much of it will have to go when they move into assisted living. 

Keeping heirlooms and other beloved items in the family can help an elderly loved one feel better about letting them go.

Give your elderly loved one a package of round stickers they can use to write a family member's name on to keep track of items they would like that family member to have.

• Help your elderly loved one place all of the items they wish to give away on a table. Use printed photos of large pieces. Have family members draw straws to determine who goes first etc. Family members take turns walking around the table and choosing things until everything is claimed.

After family members have had a chance to choose, ask your loved one if there are any items they would like to give to close friends or neighbors. Then help them choose a charity and call to donate extra items.

If it seems too much to deal with at present, there are many companies that specialize in senior moving, estate sales and downsizing services. If time doesn’t permit you can also rent a storage unit so you can sell or donate items at a later date once your loved one is happily settled in their new assisted living community.